APPLE: "Introducing the iPhone!"
CUSTOMERS: "Wow, amazing device! Too bad it requires a monthly service contract, and worse yet, with one of the most horrible carriers in the nation."
APPLE: "Introducing the iPod touch!"
CUSTOMERS: "Cool, but too bad it doesn't have cellular data for when you're out and about."
APPLE: "If you need cellular data, get the iPhone instead."
CUSTOMERS: "Yeah, but the whole AT&T thing. Look, we don't wanna cause trouble, we just want a pocket-friendly device with cellular data (preferably from a selection of carriers) - no voice, no text, just the data."
GOOGLE: "Introducing Android!"
CUSTOMERS: "Promising... but no. Again, pocket-friendly device. Cellular data. No phone service. No text service."
CARRIERS: "Introducing Mi-Fi portable hotspots!"
CUSTOMERS: "No! We don't want a third device to worry with. Listen closely: pocket-friendly, cellular dat...
APPLE/ANDROID: "Introducing smartphones with built-in hotspot sharing capability!"
CUSTOMERS: "No thank you. Once again, don't need a smartphone."
APPLE: "Introducing iPad and iCloud!"
CUSTOMERS: "Wait... What? Did you not hear us say 'pocket-friendly'?"
SAMSUNG: "Introducing the Galaxy Note!"
CUSTOMERS: "Hey, Dipshit! We said no voice or text plans! This thing requires a full blown smartphone plan! And a stylus? Really?"
APPLE: "Siri voice assistant!"
CUSTOMERS: "No."
APPLE: "Thinner, lighter and taller iPhone?"
CUSTOMERS: "Nada."
APPLE: "Smaller iPad?"
CUSTOMERS: "Wait! You're getting warmer..."
SAMSUNG: "Oh! We know! An 8-inch phone with a stylus!"
CUSTOMERS: [face-palm] "Did you guys eat a lot of paint chips as a kid?"
VERIZON: "Introducing the Verizon Messages app! Receive your phone's text messages on your tabl..."
APPLE: "Fingerprint sensors!"
CUSTOMERS: "FOR GOD'S SAKE! ARE YOU GUYS EVEN LISTENING?!?!?!" You know that thing you do for the 'iPad Wi-Fi+Cellular'? We buy the device, then you activate a SIM card that only provides (and bills us) for cellular data? Yeah! But look... Alright, stay with me now... Instead of doing that for a big ol' iPad, we want you to do it for something the size of an iPod touch! Got it? We've only been asking for this for the last SIX FREAKING YEARS!
That glazed-over look in your eyes means... what, exactly?
